Mysteries of Fate

Where there is love, there is pain. This reality turns out to be excessively real in some people life. Throughout my life, I have experienced endless pain- the moment I have given more love to the people I wanted to be with forever, the next moment they are no more in my life. More the love and concern, returns back as more pain and finally separation. I have always asked why such incessant atrocities in my life where I am continuously crushed at every point in time. The path that I tread is already filled with so many challenges. Far from my loved ones, far from any love and affection to take and give, far from responsibilities, far from an ideal son, brother, lover, friend. Amidst all this, when I give my best for the person I am deeply committed to, I cause more trouble for them. I am not sure why I am put in such a situation where people hate me like anything. This life seems useless when we are hated by the people we love the most. Please God either give me a solution to this conundrum or simply take me off this land where I am failing endlessly in everything. Having hard time focusing in research, for which I have left everyone back home. Having most difficult time dealing with all the ailments lurking in family and disturbances among family members. Hard time balancing love/family/career/health. May be I am not fit for this world.